One Man’s View

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To those extremists that perpetrated this crime against our nation, I have a warning for you. There are those of us who look at your actions as irrational, twisted, and completely inhuman. By all measures, what you have done can only be seen as insane.

I have news for you. We’re more nuts than you, and it should scare you to death.

You may think that when you die for your cause, you go to Paradise with 72 virgins, can leave reservations for 70 members of your family, all your sins are forgiven, and you sit at the side of Allah.

Big deal We had 39 guys who rented a Beverly Hills mansion, built a web site, and proceeded to poison themselves to death to hitch a ride with aliens out on the Hale-Bopp comet.

You shoot guns into the sky to celebrate victories over enemies, and people are killed by the bullets raining down on them.

We not only do this for New Year’s Eve in some cities, we burn houses down, tear up streets, loot and sack our stores, and beat ourselves senseless when our sports teams win championships.

We made a sequel to Police Academy 5.

We gave an award for singing to two guys who never even sang.

We put little sweaters on dogs.

We shot John Lennon six times and didn’t even aim for Yoko Ono.

We think Elvis is still alive.

We put Braille on drive-up automatic teller machines.

We sell hot dogs in packages of ten and the buns in packages of eight.

We’ve managed to keep the formulas for Coca-Cola and Kentucky Fried Chicken secret for decades, yet we’ve given away our most important nuclear secrets to the Chinese and Russians at the drop of a hat.

Freedom’s kind of a crazy, kooky, nutty thing when you look really close at it and all the bizarre and loony things that can result from it, but it’s better than any other ideas anybody else has come up with. It’s been that way since 1776, and built to last no matter how insanely we try to screw it up on a daily basis.

Picking a fight with the most insane nation on Earth with the hope that your message and influence will spread throughout the world, well, that’s just downright stupid.